Bad Reviews

bad-reviewThis morning I turn over the coveted blog to another author who wants to discuss the dreaded REVIEW. As you know, I am also a book reviewer. If you’re interested in seeing my opinion on a variety of books, please visit braytonsbookbuzz.wordpress.com. Yes, I’ve given reviews that rate books as poor quality. But, I don’t ‘trash’ the book or the author. I try to remain professional and point out errors, weaknesses, and strengths. Anyway, this morning isn’t for me to ramble on. Time for this week’s guest post.

 

Cold Hearted Button 300 x 225

Handling Bad Reviews

Hey folks, my name is James A. Hunter and I’m an Urban Fantasy writer, not that you’ll catch me making that confession in public. I’m the author of the Golem Chronicles—a series starring a dysfunctional, socially awkward, vigilante, shapeshifting golem—and the Yancy Lazarus series, which revolves around the adventures and various shenanigans of Yancy Lazarus, a magical, wet-works man turned rambling blues hound. Today, I’d like to sling some sage advice—come straight from the book-writing word-trenches—about what not to do when you get a negative review.

*Pats knee* “Come on over, Jimmy. I think it’s time we had the talk.”

*Jimmy looks at me, puzzlement painted across his face* “I’m twenty-eight, I don’t need the talk. Also, my name’s Bob, not Jimmy, and I’m not really sure who you are.”

Nonsense, Jimmy, of course you know me. Also, it’s not that talk we need to have, it’s time for the How to Handle Bad Reviews Talk.”

Okay, here’s the thing writerly folks, at some point you’re going to unleash your word child upon the world, and although you love your word baby like an actual baby, not everyone is going to be so smitten. What?!?!? No, you say, surely not my book. Why it’s the best part of every great book ever written. I’ll be hailed as the next Tolkien, you boast. Sadly, that’s probably not the case. Some people aren’t going to like your book—heck, even a lot of people might not like your book. A few might even hate it; they’ll say you should never write another book again for fear your terrible prose may inadvertently usher in the word-apocalypse: Wordocalypse. That’s just one of the hard truths of publishing, and here’s my sage advice on how to handle those reviews.

1.It’s okay for it to hurt.

I’m gonna shoot straight with you: bad reviews hurt, especially as a brand new author. If you’ve written a book, you’ve spent countless hours pouring yourself into that book. I get it. You’ve spent months or even years crafting this thing and then someone comes along, and in two poorly spelled sentences, rips apart all your hard work. Those reviews will hurt and if you don’t have thick skin, then here’s my advice: just don’t read them. I’m at a place now where I can read bad reviews—mostly because I know I have fans who appreciate my work—but in the beginning I just couldn’t do it. Every one star review was like a knife to my soul. If that describes you, then seriously, DON’T READ THEM.

2. It’s okay to rant a little …

It’s okay to rant, but don’t do it publically. Your spouse, significant other, or even a close group of writer peers is a good place to air your frustration over a negative review, especially if you feel the review is really unwarranted. But don’t ever air your opinion in a public forum. Don’t respond to the reviewer. Don’t email them or send them hate mail. Don’t even mention it in passing on your social media. It’s unprofessional and a generally terrible way to respond as an author.

3. Shrug off the ridiculous ones …

Some bad reviews aren’t worth getting upset over. If the reviewer insults you directly, then your book is not the issue, the reviewer is. Probably, they have some other issue that is the root of their hostility, and your book is just an innocent bystander caught in the crosshairs of their emotional turmoil. Either that, or they’re trolls, looking to provoke you. In either case, just shrug off these reviews—and again don’t respond.

4. Learn from the bad reviews

If you are at a place where reading your bad reviews isn’t going to crush the urge to live from your slumped-back writerly body, then you can learn a thing or two. If someone offers a well-articulated and thoughtful critique of your book in the course of a review, it can definitely be beneficial to take their advice to heart. Now bear in mind, not every book is for every person, and that reviewer may not be your target audience—which is totally cool—but their insights might prove useful for future books.

5. Don’t Respond Ever:

Seriously, I can’t stress this enough. Whatever you decide to do, responding should never be an option. At the end of the day, reviews aren’t really even for you. They’re for other readers. When you write a book, you’re making art. When you publish a book, it becomes a product—a product no different from a vacuum or a blender. If someone buys your blender/book, they have the right to say they didn’t like it. If I buy a blender and it sucks, I’m not going to think, Gee, I bet the folks who designed and built this blender really put a lot of effort into it, and that should influence my review. Nope. I’m gonna think, This blender is terrible, I’m going to tell other potential blender buyers why this product wasn’t for me. Please, be a professional and don’t respond. It’s not a smart move and it’s only going to draw additional attention to the bad review, which is exactly what you don’t want.

Good talk, Jimmy. Good talk.”

My name’s still Bob, and my lawyer will be in touch. You have a restraining order coming your way, pal.”

If you have any comments please feel free to leave them. How do you handle bad reviews?

____________________________

coverCold Hearted: A Yancy Lazarus Novel

The Yancy Lazarus Series

Episode 2

James A. Hunter

Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy

Publisher: Shadow Alley Press

Date of Publication: May 22, 2015

ISBN: 978-1514234266

ASIN: B00WDQCY30

Number of pages: 415

Word Count: 111,000

Cover Artist: Dane, EbookLaunch.com

Book Description:

PRAISE FOR COLD HEARTED:

Yancy Lazarus is back and facing off against his most dangerous foe yet—without the benefit of his magic. A breakneck thriller that’ll keep you turning the pages!

Sam Witt, Author of Half-Made Girls (Pitchfork County Novels)

Yancy Lazarus just wants to be left alone. He wants to play his blues music, smoke a few cigarettes, and otherwise leave the supernatural world to fend for itself.

He especially wants to be left alone by the Guild of the Staff—the mage ruling body—where he used to work as a Fix-It man. But when a little kid gets nabbed by an ancient Fae creature from the nether regions of Winter and the Guild refuses to set things right, he just can’t seem to heed good sense and leave things be.

Nothing’s ever easy though. Turns out, the kidnapping is just the tip of one big ol’ iceberg of pain and trouble. It seems some nefarious force is working behind the scenes to try and unhinge the tenuous balance between the supernatural nations and usher in a new world order. So now, if Yancy ever hopes to see the bottom of another beer bottle, he’s gonna have to partner up with an FBI agent—an agent who’s been hunting him for years—in order to bring down a nigh-immortal, douchebag mage from a different era. And to top it off, Yancy’s gonna have to pull it off without his magical powers … Boy, some days just aren’t worth getting out of bed for.

CHAPTER ONE:

Spelunking

The tunnel stretched out before me like the throat of some monstrous serpent, icy blue walls radiating pale witchlight to guide my feet. I shuffled along the winding pathway, trying for speed and failing miserably. There was snow underfoot, but the powder was often interspersed with patches of slick ice, which made the going treacherous as hell. It didn’t help a lick that my feet were so numb I couldn’t feel my toes, even though I had on heavy boots and thermal socks. Every friggin’ step felt like a crapshoot and I wasn’t quite sure how the dice would land.

I heard a howl from somewhere back in the darkness, a warbling noise that echoed and bounced around the narrow tunnel. I glanced back for a moment, which is precisely when my feet skidded out from under me and I went down hard, my ass connecting on the slippery ground below. My hip ached from the tumble, but at least my head landed in a pile of snow instead of on hard ground. I lay there for a moment, staring up at the curved ceiling, simmering in indignation.

Why me? Why couldn’t I ever just keep my head down and mind my own friggin’ business? I felt like kicking my own ass for being such a gullible, softhearted mook. Shit, the least I could do was be a little more selective. Tell people I’d only do them favors if the location was somewhere nice and beautiful … like say, sunny, sandy, not-cold-as-balls Honolulu.

I guess, technically, Thurak-Tir—home to the High Fae of the Winterlands—was a beautiful-ish place, so long as you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind the arctic tundra of Siberia. The buildings are impressive at least: slick spires of frost, carved and sculpted into a thousand wonders; a house fashioned to resemble a frozen waterfall; a palace made of snow and crystalline-rime in the image of Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life; a tower in the shape of a serpentine neck, complete with scales, topped by a massive dragon’s head. Under the light of day, the whole city sparkles like a diamond, and at night beautiful slashes of green and gold drift through the air, a semi-permanent Aurora Borealis.

But it’s also piss-freezing cold and only beautiful in the way a statue is—lifeless, still, too perfect. And the residents are all the same. Bunch of too-good-for-you, cold-hearted pricks. I absolutely hate Thurak-Tir. Give me a warm New Orleans night in a dirty bar with a crowd of shit-faced hobos any day of the week.

Down in the subterranean caverns below the city, where I happened to be trudging around, was even worse. Monsters, spirits, and a whole lot of frigid air. The light of day never penetrated these depths, so the cold … well, the cold seemed both malevolent and alive, like some frostbite-belching yeti.

More yowls and howls, followed by cackling laughter: Ice gnomes—not nearly as cute or cuddly as they sound—closing in, and fast. Time to move.

I scrambled onto my hands and knees, gaining my feet like a clumsy toddler taking his first steps, and shambled away from the chorus of mocking laughter. Creepy little twerps.

If I was going to make it out of this place in one piece, I needed better lighting. Thankfully, I’ve got something a little handier than a flashlight. I can do magic, and not the cheap stuff you see in Vegas with flowers or floating cards or disappearing stagehands. People like me, who can touch the Vis, can do real magic. Although magic isn’t the right word—magic is a Rube word for those not in-the-know. Users just call it the Vis, an old Latin word meaning force or energy. Simply put, there are energies out there, underlying matter, existence, and in fact, all Creation. It just so happens that I can manipulate that energy. Period. End of story.

I paused for a moment, and opened myself to the Vis. Power rolled into me like magma from an active volcano, heat and life and energy filling me up, sending renewed strength into my limbs. I was careful only to draw a little and push the rest away—unchecked, the Vis can be as seductive and dangerous as a beautiful woman with a grudge.

Weaves of fire and air flowed out around me as I shaped that raw force; a soft nimbus of orange light encircled me, granting both better visibility and a small pocket of comforting warmth. Sure, it would make me stand out like a dirty redneck at a posh country club, but there was nothing I could do about that.

I got moving again, huffing and puffing my way along. More frenzied cries floated toward me from the tunnel twisting away behind. I needed to move faster, but the gloom still hampered my progress, forcing me to slow down and take my time. Even with the combined illumination from my construct and the ghostly witchlight bleeding from the walls, I could only see a few feet out. This was a night place, a dark place that fought the intrusion of light and heat with tooth and nail.

Even going sloth-speed, I almost didn’t see the cliff until my feet were over the edge. I hollered and threw on the brakes in a panic—digging in with my heels and pinwheeling my arms as I fell once more onto my back. I landed with a whuff of expelled air and immediately sprawled out my arms and legs. The greater surface area seemed to slow me down a little, but not enough. My legs skittered over the side, drawing me onward and downward. I clawed at the unyielding ice with numb fingers, my thin winter gloves making it all the more difficult.

I pulled more power, more Vis, into my body, and pushed thin strands of fire out through my fingertips. Small divots blossomed into the ice-covered surface of the floor, little grooves where my digits could find purchase.

Unfortunately my gloves began to smolder from the flame, the leather sending up curls of gray smoke. I ignored the heat—survival was my first priority. I dug in, giving it everything I had, arms and hands straining with the effort.

At last I skidded to a halt, my slide coming to a premature stop though it was a damn close thing. The tension in my arms and hands eased up as I slowly, carefully, pulled my hips and legs back from the drop-off, though my feet still dangled out in the air. Past the drop-off was blackness all the way down with no bottom in sight. Admittedly, the soft glow surrounding my body didn’t do much to diminish the gloom. Hell, the bottom could’ve been ten feet down or ten thousand. Better not to find out by taking a leap.

My heart thudded hard against my ribs. I’m not exactly afraid of heights, mind you, but anyone would be apprehensive about the prospect of careening off a cliff into potentially unending blackness. I took one more glance over the edge and uttered a sigh of relief. Whew. Dodged a bullet there.

I heard a hoot of mirth just a second before something hard and heavy collided into my back—a wallop right between my aching shoulder blades.

My fingers tore free of their meager holds and over the drop-off I went, manic gnome laughter filling my ears as I fell. I tumbled down and down, flipping through the air like a fumbled football. I caught just a brief glimpse of a short, knobby form peering over the edge, his whole stumpy body shaking as he cackled. Asshole gnomes.

I lashed out with air—great columns of the stuff—directed down to slow my descent. That was a start, but the construct wouldn’t keep me from getting impaled on a giant icicle or busting my guts open on a rocky outcropping.

So next, I pulled in strands of artic cold, weaves of spirit and reinforced bands of fae power, floating through the air like so much dust. A shimmering bubble of green—shifting from emerald to pine to jade and back again—snapped into place with an effort of will, encompassing me in a tight globe of power, exerting a slight pressure on my body. A small safeguard against pointy things and an air pocket to cushion my body from the inevitable impact.

Splash-thud.

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About the Author:

Hey all, my name is James Hunter and I’m a writer, among other things. So just a little about me: I’m a former Marine Corps Sergeant, combat veteran, and pirate hunter (seriously). I’m also a member of The Royal Order of the Shellback—’cause that’s a real thing. I’ve also been a missionary and international aid worker in Bangkok, Thailand. And, a space-ship captain, can’t forget that.

Okay … the last one is only in my imagination.

Currently, I’m a stay at home Dad—taking care of my two kids—while also writing full time, making up absurd stories that I hope people will continue to buy. When I’m not working, writing, or spending time with family, I occasionally eat and sleep.

You can visit me to find out more at www.JamesAHunter.wordpress.com

www.twitter.com/@jamesahunter13

www.facebook.com/WriterJamesAHunter

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Categories: Uncategorized | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Bad Reviews

  1. Love your blog Steve and love your post James! Very wise words! Love the excerpt!

  2. I look at a bad review and gleen what insight I can from it, bad spelling, gramnar, better editor, that sort of thing. Not their cup of tea, understandable. I have read books that weren’t mine either. Keep going.

  3. elainefaber4u

    You have a command of words, but definitely not a cozy mystery, is it? That’s what I read and what I write.
    It might be that some bad reviews come from people who have mistakenly picked up a book that is not their chosen style.
    I appreciate your talent in turning a phrase, but I would never read a book such as you’ve written.(my reading preference) On the other hand, had I decided your style wasn’t for me, I wouldn’t take the time or effort to send a review with a low score, either. That takes a vindictive person, not a person hoping to help another reader decide if they want to read the book. All the reader has to do to make an informed decision, is read the dust jacket.
    Best luck with your future efforts.

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